The time has come - ORIENTATION

I did it!  I actually went!!  Don't think for a moment that I didn't talk myself out of (and back into) going to the Just Tri It orientation session at least 100 times.  Last night I even started to feel sick (physically - as in a sore throat, congestion).  Amazing how much power fear has over our physical selves.  Sadly, I woke up this morning feeling fine.  I had no excuse.  Fortunately, I'd convinced my friend Holly to also sign up for the training and she was picking me up at 12:45.  I'm prepared to let myself down... but not a friend.

I can't even say for sure what the anxiety was (is) about.  I've been working my butt off (literally) for 7 months at the gym getting myself into a somewhat fit condition.  Three times a week working with my fantastic personal trainer at Goodlife Fitness (Reed) and 3 times a week doing interval training on the treadmill.  I also walk to and from work every day (about 45 minutes round trip).  Although all of my training is personal and I have no one to compare my fitness to except me.  What if I only think I'm in good shape?  What if my trainer is only being nice when he says "excellent workout"?  (I should probably mention that I'm slightly neurotic)

Much to my relief and joy, the two fantastic women who are leading this program were incredibly reassuring.   Every single one of my fears was named.  I looked around and saw other women nodding their heads and laughing nervously when they talked about the anxiety of having to put on a bathing suit.   I felt reassured that no matter where I am on the fitness scale, there is a place for me among the Just Tri It women.  

One of my other significant fears relates to meeting other women.  While I am someone who knows many many people, I am not someone who has many friends.  I find meeting people difficult.. awkward.. uncomfortable.  I don't really like putting myself out there.  It's REALLY SILLY and DRIVES ME MAD that at 45 years old I still care so much what people think.  I walk into a room of strangers and I'm instantly 7 years old and walking into my new school for the first time... terrified that no one is going to like me.

So, I reassured myself that I didn't NEED to put myself out there.  I'm doing this for me.  I gave myself permission to hang with my friend Holly, get the info necessary and get out of there.

AND THEN we were invited to play a little "get to know you game" (at which point I begged Holly to shoot me quickly).  However, I remembered another commitment I made as part of a book study group that I was going to risk being more vulnerable in an effort to achieve my personal goal of living in the world more wholeheartedly... with more gregarious love.

So.. I sucked it up and met a lovely women (who's name I now forget).  We had a lovely little chat and as far as I can tell she seemed to like me okay.   The leaders challenged us to take a moment or two at each and every session to meet one new person.   I think I'm going to do it.

So... the truth is that this program is going to help me grow physically and emotionally... also spiritually because I believe a healthy spirit goes hand in hand with a healthy mind and body.

Tomorrow we gather again for our first bike session... but we don't need to bring our bikes yet.  It's informational only.  Can't wait to get going!!!