I was more nervous this time... partly due to the fact that I was less familiar with the scenery and didn't really know what to expect. I wasn't really sure of the course, I had only swum in this pool once and I wasn't sure how I'd do with the added pressure of being timed.
I arrived at 7:30 to register, get my number and set up my transition area... and then I waited! and waited! My swim time wasn't until 10:30. I was feeling anxious too because during my timed swim the previous week, I had swam 300m in 6min 35sec. After 3 days in bed with not much to eat, I was pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to make that pace but we had already been assigned to groups based on our speed. I was pretty sure I was going to get mowed over. Also, I was the first heat in my lane. Knowing that 3 other people would be hot on my heels didn't ease my anxiety.
Fortunately, I ran into a bunch of other Just Tri It women who were expressing equal thoughts and feelings. This definitely reassured me. After an hour or so of watching others swim and make the mad dash for their bikes, I was feeling ready. Sort of.
I also gave myself a little talking to. Firstly, to calm my spirit. I said all the right stuff "it's only important that you do your best".. "if you feel like you're going to puke, it's okay to stop".. "remember to breathe and you'll be fine".
And then there was the more stern talking to. My number one goal in my life is to cultivate compassion, love and generosity towards others. I reallllly want to be THAT person... the one who is selfless, kind and deeply respectful of humankind. And I think I can be that... except that I am also fiercely competitive. Sometimes I get hit by the competitive bug and become quite the opposite of who I want to be. It's a struggle. So my other talking to sounded a little like this "okay... if you are speeding along on your bike and someone in front of you wipes out, you WILL STOP and help them. You WILL NOT keep going. That would be WRONG and UNKIND." I am SO glad that I didn't have to put that to the test. I'm going to say that I have no doubt I would have stopped...
Anyway... about half way through the first length I started to panic and was pretty sure I was going to vomit. I felt the woman behind me tap my foot (which indicates she wants to get by). I paused at the end of the length to let her pass and then I was off again. I felt completely uneasy. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I thought I was going to drown. The voice in my head was shouting "oh no oh no oh no oh no". I did the only thing I could think of to do... I started reciting from memory the 5th chapter of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (cuz after 21 years sobriety I've got that baby memorized). By the time I reached the 12th step, my heart had stopped racing, I'd found my breathing rhythm and I was feeling like everything would be okay after all. I finished my swim in 7min 23sec. About 55 seconds slower than my practice but I was okay with that.
My transition to bike went much smoother this time. I didn't get caught in my pant leg cuz I'd chosen different pants this time... ones that were a little more loose fitting and easier to pull on over wetness. The bike part is my favorite. I love my antique roadbike... it is super fast. I would love love love to get the clip shoes and pedals but I've already spent more on this obsession that I should. I just think.. I'm so super fast with my regular shoes/pedals... imagine how fast I'd be with THOSE. Then, of course that leads me down the path of "if only I had a NEW roadbike... just imagine.." That's a dangerous (and expensive) path to journey on. Anyway, I completed the bike without any trouble.
The transition from bike to running is so amusing to me. Honestly, my legs feel like a combination of jello and led. It is ridiculous. I pushed through it though and soon found my pace and ran at a reasonable pace (for me).
I completed the whole thing in 43min 53sec.
I placed 8th overall (out of 26).
I placed 1st out of 8 in my age group (40-49).
I was feeling pretty proud.
And then, I went home and slept for 2 solid hours. It was a very satisfying day.
I learned a couple of very important things:
1. When I have an in-water panic attack... I can handle it. That's a relief.
2. While looser fitting pants are easier for the swim/bike transition... they also lose their shape and fall off during the run. That's awkward. I had to stop several times to pull them up. I find the fashion aspect of triathlons the most challenging. Considering buying an actual triathlon outfit... but there's that dangerous path again.
